Introduction
At Westside, we believe that community engagement is a core part of thriving. We also believe it is inevitable that there will be conflicts that cause harm to our community life. Harm may be experienced as feeling anxious, unsafe, unsettled, angry, or other negative emotional responses.
We offer this document as a summary of the pathways that we have available to engage in reconnection and repair. The Pathways to Reconnection and Repair offer strategies for reestablishing connection when a community member or members feel disconnected because of something that has happened within our community.
There is no single prescribed pathway. The actual pathway chosen will depend on the complexity of the issue, and the preferences of the individuals involved in the process of reconnection and/or repair.
Engaging in the process of reconnection or repair is completely voluntary. The process takes time and can require patience. The pathways are available to those who are ready and have the capacity to engage. Individuals may pause, exit, or take a break as needed for self-care and reflection.
The Pathways to Reconnection and Repair do not address every issue that can arise in congregational life. Congregants are welcome to directly contact the Board or the Minister for issues related to congregational policy or other needs.
Disruptive Behavior Policy
The Pathways to Reconnection and Repair is not intended for instances where behavior creates (1) an imminent threat to the emotional or physical safety of one or more individuals of the congregation, or (2) threatens to disrupt community members’ participation in, or the normal function of congregational activities. These issues are governed by WSUU’s Disruptive Behavior Policy. The Board of Trustees is responsible for investigating and responding to disruptive incidents or patterns of behavior in consultation with the Minister as laid out in this policy.
Pathways to Repair – Initiation
- Contact a Core Team Member: Any community member who has experienced disconnection or negative impact because of something that has happened in the congregation is encouraged to contact a Core Team (coreteam@wsuu.org) member to begin exploring a pathway forward. This initial conversation will include a discussion of which of the pathways is the most appropriate place to start. NOTE: If the issue involves a WSUU staff member, the Minister should be the initial contact person.
- Confidentiality Matters: Everyone engaging in the Pathways to Reconnection and Repair process has the right to confidentiality. Please inform those you contact of your boundaries regarding confidentiality, such as your name and details about the situation. Such confidences will be protected.
- Support and Respect: Every person in the Pathways process will be treated with respect and kindness. The Core Team will explore the level of support needed for participation with all participants. For marginalized stakeholders (for example: disabled, BIPOCs, 2SLGBTQIA folks, youth, economically disadvantaged, and/or vulnerable) a Core Team member will specifically discuss options such as a facilitator, or an additional ally with cultural identities that align with the participant’s, or culturally competent chaplaincy support.
- Community Integrity: The congregation is made up of people connected in relationships and roles. Those carrying out the service of right relations acknowledge positional and relational biases, power differences, and the added responsibility right relations work brings. They commit to working to protect the wellbeing of each individual as well as the community.
The Pathways to Reconnection or Repair
Reflection
Spend some time engaging in self-compassion and reflection. Explore your feelings, assumptions, hypotheses, and judgments. If this pathway does not resolve the issue, you are encouraged to either: (1) have a conversation with the person whom you are feeling disconnected from (depending on how that goes, you may contact the Core Team subsequently) or (2) contact a member of the Core Team to proceed to another pathway.
Empathetic Listener
An empathetic listener may be a trusted friend, or someone identified as a trained empathetic listener. They will provide reflective listening and help you identify your feelings and unmet needs. If you continue to have unresolved feelings and need further action, you are encouraged to either: (1) have a conversation with the person that you are feeling disconnected from (depending on how that goes, you may contact the Core Team subsequently) or (2) contact a member of the Core Team to proceed to another pathway .
Facilitated Action
The Core team will offer an ally (to both or all parties) and provide a guide. The guide will provide empathetic listening, explain possible avenues for a supported conversation with the other person(s), and help you decide which approach to take. Depending on the situation and the number of people, the Core Team might recommend hiring a consultant to assist.
Facilitated Action Options:
- Supported Conversation – This approach is where you and the other person(s) have a conversation facilitated by a Core Team member. The conversation will include both or all sides sharing their perspectives of what happened, impacts, feelings, and unmet needs. The conversation may invite the participants to share insights gained from listening to each other. It may proceed to possible avenues for repair, and possibly development of an action plan. The Core Team person will follow up with the participants (separately) and will be available for check-ins regarding implementing any action plan or repair.
- Circle Process – This approach involves the convening of a circle where participants engage in sharing what they want known about the situation from their own perspective. The circle is carefully planned and structured to facilitate sharing in a supportive environment. Participants may find some of what is shared to be hard to hear, and everyone will be offered empathy. Depending on the circumstances, the circle may be open to the community, or by invitation only to those who have been directly impacted. Circles that are specifically for healing will be planned with extra care to prevent, as much as possible, any further harm. Chaplaincy support will be offered following such circles if needed.
After implementing the supported conversation or circle process, your guide will provide empathetic listening and discuss establishing boundaries, self-care, and support. If there are follow-up actions, they will help you develop an action plan and be available for check-ins.
Adopted June 1, 2025 for incorporation into the WSUU Policies and Procedures. Amendments can be made at a congregational meeting or by the WSUU Board with the concurrence of the WSUU Right Relations Core Team after obtaining congregational consent to the proposed change by means of a voting poll or other publicly available and fully inclusive process.